How do I make him understand that our marriage is over?

I have been married for 16 years. We have been together for over 19 years. In the beginning of our relationship everything was as close to perfect as could be. No one gave any less than the other. As the years have gone by I feel like I am slowly drowning and at times I feel death has got to be better than this marriage. I am not perfect and I have contributed to the decline of my marriage, by allowing myself to be sucked into the tit for tat games he likes to play like who can call the other the nastier name or who can hurt the others feelings the most. We started out with both of us working and bringing everything to the table. However, as time went by my husband morphed into this man whom I no longer know, however I am sure that I am constantly unhappy and most days I feel that death has got to be better than this marriage. My husband has gone from a man who beamed with pride just knowing he was doing his best to support his family. He has had well over 150 jobs in the last 15 years, 90% of those jobs he left on his own accord and never had a definitive backup plan. I guess being angry at his boss or coworkers was more important than family stability. I find myself thinking back to happier times when I actually looked forward to him coming home from a job, just to be in his company. Nowadays we play the tick for tack games. Everything that's said is taken so literally that it makes me sick to my stomach. We constantly try to one up one another in the insults department. Even as I post this thread...how sad that this is what we have become. I have often asked him the question: If I make you so unhappy why don't you just leave? I used to fool myself by thinking that the reason he stayed was because he loved me..I couldn't have been more wrong. I have a desire to talk about how I am feeling and he'd rather roll over and go to sleep. Intimacy is out of the question for me, the mere thought of it makes my skin crawl. I don't understand how he feels I am supposed to desire someone who is so oblivious to what we've become to one another, opponents in this game called marriage. I am weary from all of the worrying about the family having shelter, lights, water, food and clothes. It saddens me when I think about the lack of concern he shows when it comes to the necessities, I won't get into the "wants". I get angry when I hear him snoring at night without a care in the world, knowing that we are always on someones disconnect list! I am the one carrying the family weight and now my back is broken. I don't want to work another day and leave him home in bed to sleep all day. In all the years that we have been married, the only thing I have ever asked was that he communicate with me..give me piece of mind. I shouldn't have to go to work and worry all day that he's walked off another job and not thought about how this will affect our family. I have never gotten that upset or let anyone get under my skin on the job to the point that I forget about our children's welfare or our ever mounting bills. My love has turned into dislike and I know it's only a matter of time before that dislike turns into HATE! I feel as if I have aged 15 years in the last 4 years. I am ashamed to see anyone because I feel they'll see the sadness in my eyes and the aged look that I possess. His once kind words are more like venom now. I expressed to him years ago that it would be better for us to walk away while we could at least be civil to one another that to stay together and end up hating one another, I am too old for these childish games that he constantly pulls me into. I want this to be over so badly that I lied and told him that I had had an affair hoping this would make him finally say he's done...he's still here, using me for a place to sleep, eat, and have someone support him. I have made plans to file for divorce. I just want this marriage to be over. The question is will he accept that it is truly over?